


people go, but how they left always stays

by thundersandrains



Series: One Chapter at a Time [4]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28478424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thundersandrains/pseuds/thundersandrains
Series: One Chapter at a Time [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2159679
Kudos: 1





	people go, but how they left always stays

"What?"

"You heard me. Don't make me say it again when we both know it's not going to do any good for the both of us."

"I heard you. But what? You can't just tell me that now?"

"Why not Seonghwa? Why can't I tell you?"

"Because we promised Sofia! And even if this has to happen, it shouldn't be broken!"

I felt my body getting warmer. Drops of rain came in slowly, but it fell down with the same rush I started to feel once those words left her mouth. The words I refuse to hear from her are now mocking me and laughing at my face.

"Promises are meant to be broken."

"Don't start that on me." He glared at this person in front of him, a familiar sight but felt so different that it's starting to hurt already.

"Seonghwa-"

"Don't." I closed my eyes and raised my hand, pretending that this distance between us is actually helping me cope with the ache I feel. "Just wait for a moment."

"I really don't have much time left."

"Well you should've thought about that before you dropped such news on me."

"You weren't even supposed to know about this until I leave-"

"And did you honestly think that's better? Me coming home with you and your clothes gone, without a trace, no nothing?" I shouldn't have looked at her. I shouldn't have had the courage to look up and see her there, luggage on her left, with an umbrella over her head. I wished I was too weak to find an ounce of lie in her eyes, so that I didn't have to see this face of hers that I never wanted to see ever in my life.

But I guess that's really not up to me.

The rain is pouring down strongly, and my clothes and bag started to become heavy, water dripping down on my face, quite unsure if it's the rain or my tears. Either way, I don't care and it seems, this person in front of me doesn't either.

"There was a time where you promised me you wouldn't leave. There was a time you made sure of that. What happened? What changed Sofia?"

Her head hung low, and that is the look I was going for. For her to hurt the way I'm hurting. To see those promises get broken one by one. But even if I wanted this to happen, seeing her strong facade falter in front of me felt like a punch in the gut. 

"A lot has changed, Seonghwa. We both know that."

"We both- I have no idea Sofia! Earlier this morning you cooked my favorite meal! You kissed me goodbye! You told me you love me, just like every other day! How did I know that those were supposed to mean something else?!" I spat, the heat within my chest started to grow, and I cannot feel anymore but pain. Hurt, disappointed and even I hate to admit- love.

Love. How do I even know what love is anymore? Is it love to see her that way, ready to leave but still waiting for me to accept that fact? Is it love that I feel this much pain in my chest that it's starting to make me dizzy? Is it love when I'm here getting drenched in the rain while she's just staring at me with that umbrella on her hands?

"Don't turn this around on me."

"I'm not turning anything! I'm trying to understand everything because right now this view I have of you is not aligned with the promises you made with me. I want to understand you but seeing you with your mind made up already makes it so much harder for me." The drops on my face are tears. Wet, hot tears racing each other, but she doesn't know that. Not when she doesn't even have her eyes on me.

"I have to do this Seonghwa. And maybe someday, you'll understand that I'm doing this for you."

"Which part of you leaving really is for me?"

"All of it."

"Why?" My clenched fists are not doing anything with the situation. I closed my eyes tightly, silently wishing that I'll wake myself up from this dream. But I know deep inside that none of that is going to happen. "What made you think that I'll be okay with you leaving without a word?"

"I'm not leaving now without a word-"

"Which makes it so much worse!" I ran a hand up through my drenched hair, trying to calm myself down to get my point across. "If Yunho didn't come at the right time, I would be coming home to an empty apartment. If Hongjoong didn't ask me if I was okay, I wouldn't have noticed something was off. If I didn't come running, what would happen then?"

I walked closer to see if the eyes I knew so well hold the guilt I'm looking for. I walked closer to feel any love radiating off from her. I walked closer with the thought of her running to me, telling me that she wouldn't do such a thing.

I walked closer only to see her take a step farther away from me.

I stopped a few feet away from her, but enough to see the shine in her eyes that I fell in. The shine that used to glow with so much love, now dull and somber. This isn't her. I shook my head. None of this is real. 

"Why?"

"It just happened."

"That can't be."

"But it is."

"Did you even love me?"

"Seonghwa-"

"Did you?"

A small sigh escaped her lips. "Yes."

"Then why should you leave?"

"The love I had for you is not enough for me to stay anymore."

"But is my love not enough for you to think twice about this?" The words she has on her lips didn't come out. "Was my love not enough for you to stay? To tell me about this? You had the courage to tell my friends about you leaving but to me, you couldn't? Was I that far for you to tell me this?"

Tears. Tears coming down to her cheeks to her dress. Tears that made me want to run up and hug her and kiss those tears away. But my own tears on my own cheeks held me back from doing so. 

"I had to tell somebody so that none of your friends will spam my phone asking me where I was."

"They wouldn't do that if you just told me you're leaving!"

"And what if I did? What if I did tell you I'm leaving? What would you do?"

My heart stopped. 

"What would I do? Really Sofia? Do you think I would stop you? Do you think I would prevent you from finally letting you have what you've always wanted to do?" 

Her eyes left mine.

"Sofia, I would never stop you from reaching whatever it is you wanted to do. But I would stop you from leaving me alone without an explanation, without a trace. Because if you leave, where would I go? Where would I pick up the pieces you left?" I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I was holding. "You were the one who proved to me how precious promises are. Was I too stupid to think that you would believe in them the way you made me believe? Was it too foolish to trust you? Am I that blind to not see it?"

"Seonghwa-"

"All I want for you to do is stay."

"I can't."

"Just stay. I'll take care of the rest Sofia. Just please. Stay."

The silence she gave me was a hint of hope. Hope that she'll turn this around and kiss me hard and tell me she's not going anywhere. Hope that she'll come to me and whisper that she loves me, just like how she used to do it.

None of that came.

Instead, a pair of bright lights blinded my sight, and I turned to look to see where it came from. A black car appeared and stopped in between us, and Sofia looked at me with the smallest hint of guilt in her eyes. 

No warmth. No comfort. No home.

"I need to go." she muttered, so soft I could barely hear it. I saw her move from her spot to the car door. I saw her come in and even to the last minute, I hope for that small gesture that would show me that this is not real. A small smile or a loud laugh to tell me that none of this is true. 

But I heard the door slam close, and every hope I had got carried away with the wind.

I dropped everything and started to chase after her. I knocked on her window, just so I could spare a glance at her eyes, to see if she was just bluffing. Even if the car started to move, even if my feet started to ache. Even if the windows were tinted black, I saw her. 

Facing front, and not paying attention to the knocks I did to her heart.

I called after her name. I called after her heart that used to cry for me, that used to refuse to believe that I am actually in love with her. I called after the person that became my home, I called for her.

I didn't care about the rain, the puddles, the cold wind, my drenched clothes, my tears and my heavy heart. 

I ran.

I chased her.

But I failed.

She was gone before I realized. 

She left.

She left me alone in this world, only surrounded by pain.

……………………...

"Did you see him?" I asked frantically. 

Seonghwa was gone for hours already, even Sofia's plane left already, but he's nowhere to be found. 

I knew about her plan, and I knew why she decided to leave. But I didn't tell Seonghwa because I thought she would at least tell him about it. But I thought wrong.

Sofia texted me about their conversation before she boarded the plane. 

Seonghwa told her all the things she wanted to hear. He screamed at her. He got mad and then came down from his anger and acknowledged the pain his heart felt. 

Seonghwa chased after her. 

But she had no choice but to ignore him.

Sofia asked me to look after him, and to let him know that she loved him.

The guys and I started to look for Seonghwa after getting her message. His phone is off and no one knows about his whereabouts. How can I look after him when I can't even see him?

"No. The staff told me he left hours ago and the last time they probably saw him was around the last time we did too." Yunho replied, trying to catch his breath. "What about you? Is he there?"

"I'm close, but I don't see a sign of him anywhere." My eyes wandered around for a familiar figure and even when I arrived in front of their building, there's still no sign of him. "No. He's not here."

I stopped. 

"Stay where you are Hongjoong."

A black bag that's so familiar is on the ground, abandoned and drenched.

"Yunho, his bag is here."

I quickly ran to it and pinned my phone to my ear with my shoulder. I grabbed the bag and tried to find him around the area before inspecting its contents.

"His bag is there? Then he couldn't have gotten far yet."

I opened his bag to see any clues of where he could be. His usual stuff is there: wallet, phone, laptop, papers and everything.

"Everything is here, Yunho. He has nothing on him." 

"Okay, stay there. I'll pick you up and we'll scan the area after."

My hands frantically looked inside the bag for anything. Keys, or maybe a ticket? I don't know. Just something.

Until I felt an unfamiliar object inside. When I pulled it out, I was hoping I was wrong.

"Hongjoong? Are you still there?"

My hands shook when I slowly opened it, still hoping this isn't it.

But it is.

He told me about this too, but I didn't expect him to have this already.

I grabbed my phone from my shoulder, and tried to keep my voice calm despite my heart beating loudly and fast.

"Yunho."

"What is it? Have you found him?"

"No."

"Just stay-"

"I found something else in his bag."

"What is it?"

I took a deep breath and stared at the object in my hand.

"A box."

"A what?"

"With a ring inside."

"Wait- Don't tell me."

A tear fell from my eye, and I cleared my throat before speaking.

"He was going to propose, Yunho. Sofia left before Seonghwa had the chance to ask."


End file.
